Some rivalries are born on the field. This one’s carved into history.

England vs Australia. The Ashes. Cricket’s most gloriously petty, impossibly tense, utterly captivating saga. And later this year, it’s back to rip through calendars, wreck sleep schedules, and make heroes and villains in equal measure.

Forget your average series, this is theatre disguised as sport. Since 1882, when Australia’s win at The Oval sparked a tongue-in-cheek obituary for English cricket, these two have been trading blows for bragging rights that weigh more than the tiny urn itself. From Botham’s ’81 miracle to Warne’s Ball of the Century, and Flintoff’s consoling hand to Stokes’s Headingley heist — every Ashes chapter is pure drama.

And here’s the thing: it’s never just cricket. It’s accents clashing across the boundary rope. It’s the Aussies’ sledge vs the English stiff upper lip (with the odd bite back). It’s Stokes offering a handshake so the English don’t burn in the sun. It’s the lingering shadow of sandpaper-gate whenever a yellow cap leans just a little too close to the ball. It’s mind games before a single ball is bowled, and a year’s worth of social media banter condensed into five feverish Tests.

This time? The storylines are already brewing. Can England’s ‘Bazball’ swagger stand up to the heat of Starc, Cummins, and Hazlewood? Can Australia’s middle order survive another dose of Stokes’s big-game magic? Will someone produce that moment, the one you’ll be talking about in pubs for decades?

By the time the first ball is bowled, both nations will be convinced they’re about to write the next great Ashes chapter. They can’t both be right.

All that’s left is to clear your diary, sharpen your banter, and settle in for the ride. Because in the Ashes, there’s no hiding, no holding back, and absolutely no love lost.